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Dick Durbin is an Idiot and Other Things You Already Knew

March 23, 2012
Senator Dick Durbin

The esteemed gentleman from Illinois, Senator Dick Durbin is ready to protect us all from...NFL players hitting each other apparently.

The New Orleans Saints, who earlier in the week lost their head coach for a year, their general manager for half a year, two draft picks and were fined $500,000 over the bounty system run by former defensive coordinator Gregg Williams are in BIG trouble now. Senator Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) is on the scene!

Sen. Durbin is setting up a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing to look into whether or not NFL bounty systems violate Federal law; apparently because all of the country’s other problems have been solved. Balanced budgets for everybody!!! Next up, Durbin and his Committee will investigate the boogeyman.

Sen. Durbin’s rationale for the hearings is that, “If this activity were taking place off of a sporting field, nobody would have a second thought [about whether it’s wrong],”

Well no, Dick, they wouldn’t, but if this were happening off the football field, state and local authorities would handle it and you wouldn’t set up a grandstanding Senate committee at taxpayer expense to investigate it.

In Sen. Durbin’s defense, he’s not alone in his idiocy. He is far from alone in starting pricey Congressional investigations of sports. Nobody will ever forget the baseball steroids investigation, and no fewer than three Congresspeople have opened or threatened to open hearings on the BCS. And it’s not a (D) or an (R) problem, either. Rep. Cliff Stearns of Florida, Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah and Rep. Joe Barton of Texas – all Republicans – have either opened or threatened to open Congressional hearings on the BCS.

When he announced that he intended to have a hearing, I sent an e-mail to Congressman Stearns explaining to him how wasteful I thought his course of action was and asking him not to pursue it (despite the fact that I don’t live in Florida, but let’s be honest, no Kentucky Congresspeople are ever going to care about the BCS). I received an automated response and was added to Congressman Stearns’ “look at all the awesome stuff I do” e-mail list. It took several e-mails explaining to the Congressman (or the intern who reads his e-mail) that I didn’t live in his district and that I thought he was an idiot to get off that list.

Regardless of which side of the aisle instigates these show-pony events, Congress has no business wasting our money and their time with these made-for-TV investigations. They have enough ways they waste our money already.

Speaking of Bounties

Apparently big hits are a way of life throughout New Orleans as evidenced by this “play” by Jason Smith of the New Orleans Hornets on Blake Griffin.

It’s the second hard foul Griffin has taken THIS WEEK. Always a good plan to knock a league’s biggest, most marketable stars out of the game. Genius.

The Minnesota Timberwolves Are Awful

If you thought the Minnesota Timberwolves only sucked at basketball, you’re wrong. Apparently the T-Wolves suck across multiple platforms – including singing.

Have a great day.



From → NBA, NFL, Sports

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